This has been a long, hard week.

I went back to work on Tuesday, and as I reported, it wasn’t nearly as tiring as I expected. And almost all of my workdays were like that- the activity gave me some energy, and things were good. My coworkers have been really helpful and we have a good pattern going on.

But Friday was rough. I was in a hard Jersey store, and Jackie was working with me. Jackie is my friend, but also my manager, and there’s some extra pressure when she works with me. It also happened to be a bad depression day, one of those days that reminds me that, though I’m much better than I was a year ago, when I spent most of my time on the couch, too tired and sad to do anything but watch tv, I’m not completely recovered. So I spent all day trying not to cry over little things, and couldn’t wait until I could get home and curl up in my bed.

It’s so weird to be having days like that, too, when I’m so happy with my reduction decision. I went to the mall yesterday to see what I could find. I got my first ever Peter Pan collared shirt, something I’ve wanted to wear for years, and a tank top I couldn’t have thought of wearing before. I also went to aerie and got my first ever non-underwire pretty bras, the kind I’ve always wanted. Shopping has never been so fun. I have to completely rewire my thinking, but so many more options are open to me. 

Of course, I got stuck in a dress while trying it on, which kind of hurt me on one side, and add that to working my first week (and a full one at that) and getting some very very tight hugs at a party last night, I am very very sore today. I get the last of my stitches out tomorrow!

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