Good News!

Last night, I had my memorization test for my tour guiding job. At first, it was supposed to be with Jane, but she was totally swamped with work, so I got an e-mail informing me that I would be doing my test with another girl… in Chicago… over Skype. I know that business over Skype isn’t that uncommon these days, but it’s my first experience with it, and I was a little intimidated. Thankfully, the girl was really nice even when I stumbled over the beginning of the script. At the end, she declared that I passed. HOORAY! It was a huge relief to get over that hurdle.

I still had one more to go, though- the dress rehearsal. I didn’t know this until it started, but I could have failed the dress rehearsal and had to go back to square one, so that was pretty scary. Thankfully, Beth was feeling well enough to do it, which made it much better. I was still very nervous and really messed up the beginning (again), but after she forced me to take a few deep breaths and I got rolling, I was fine. I got all the way through the tour only messing up a few times and passed that as well- yay! So tomorrow, I am leading my first tour! As frustrating as getting to this point has been (Beth reminded me that I need to make sure I don’t take a tone with my boss on the phone, because I kind of did yesterday), I’m still really excited about the job itself

Also, I just got a part! In the middle of all of the tour stuff, I was scouring the local casting site, as I do every free minute of my life, and I found a staged reading that needed high school-looking people. They weren’t auditioning people, just looking for people in general. I almost didn’t call; besides it being a community theatre, I “worked” for them two years ago and had a terrible experience. I very much enjoyed working with the director and the cast members that were my age and younger, but a few of the adults were unprofessional and snobby and I hated working with them. But, I figured, it’s a much smaller show with people around my age, and it’s a staged reading, so people not knowing their lines can’t be an issue. I’m not thrilled that my first show out of college is a casting by default (though the director did recognize my name from shows, which was cool), but I really really need a show, of any kind, right now. When I told my mom, she asked if it paid. I, too, want a paying acting job, but as I told her, having any kind of show right now is paying me in sanity and self-worth. They say you’re only as good as your last show, and while my last one was very good, it also closed only a little under half a year ago and I’ve been feeling pretty bad about myself for going without a show for this long.

The show is part of a new short play festival, which is exciting; I love doing new stuff. There’s always the chance that the script could be terrible, but it’s also possible that it will be great. Either way, we only go up once, on November 2nd, so the time commitment is very small and hopefully finally acting in a show again will get my spirits up, especially since I keep seeing news that parts in plays I’ve been seen and called back for are going to everyone but me. It’s times like this that remind me how hard the career and the life I’ve chosen for myself are, but a conversation with a friend also reminded me that while this life isn’t for everyone, it is for me.

EDIT: I was just scouring Backstage, which never fails to run some article about the exact thing I’m stressing over. One columnist this week, Tim Intravia, is in the same post-show-depression/desperate for an acting job position that I am and wrote the following:

“Acting is about being vulnerable and so is this dispatch. It’s a hard life, acting, and I’m realizing that even more each day. But you know what? I love it. I love acting, writing, doing comedy, love it enough that I can and will deal with the lows. I’ll keep doing survival jobs I’m way overqualified for […] keep hitting EPAs and online submissions, and keep mailing those agents and casting directors. I probably won’t get rich doing this, but it’s what I do best and what I love.”

Amen, Tim.

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