Things Are Looking Up

It’s funny how quickly things can feel normal, like they’ve always been the way they are. That’s how I’m starting to feel about the way I’m living now. Obviously I remember living in my hometown and going to college and how I lived in those places, but after a little over a month of living in this house and exactly a month of working, it all feels so… normal. And I sort of like it. I mean, yes, I am a waitress and I would like to not be a waitress forever, but for the moment, it’s working for me. So far, I’ve been getting pretty good hours, going to every audition I want to (save for some in New York, so I’ll amend that to “every audition at which I actually have a chance to be seen”), and today I made nearly $100 in tips… from two tables. I’ve chosen a career field that has very little stability and consistency, even when one is employed in the field, and sometimes, familiar things are nice.

And have I mentioned how much I love my co-workers? I know I have, but I’m going to do it again. Because they’re all so great. Sure, we can all sometimes get a little snippy and impatient when some people are working a double and probably won’t get a break at all, but it never gets too bad. Perhaps I’m looking at all of this through rose-colored lenses, but it’s all so much better than any everyday job I’ve had before. I haven’t had that many, but at each one, I would cover innumerable people’s shifts, but then when I’d say, “Guys, I really need a cover, I have to go to a doctor’s appointment/perform in a show an hour away/other genuinely important thing,” every single person in the room would become intensely fascinated with the ceiling or the dust on the register. Though I haven’t yet needed a cover, from what I’ve observed, we all need the money badly enough that when someone sends out a “please cover me” e-mail or asks around the shift before, someone will instantly jump on it. And everyone is always helping everyone else. That rarely happened at my other jobs. I thought people asking me if I was all right or if I needed help would wear off after my first few shifts, but even today, the bartender, who has no requirement to come out from behind her bar, asked me if I needed assistance and when I said I might, said, “Just let me know. I’m here.” And then volunteered to take some of my customers’ drinks to their table because I had to sing. I love these people.

Speaking of singing, it is super awesome. I don’t sing every time, but when I get to, it makes the day so much better, even though it’s only about two minutes and thirty seconds. Funnily enough, though I’ve been performing since forever and singing solo for years, I get so incredibly nervous and my legs are always shaking afterwards. But it’s the good kind of nerves, and it’s funny how before your solo, you’re just the server, but afterwards your customers want to take your picture and save the video they took of your performance. And today’s crowd was fabulous, so that was great.

In other good things, after another day or two of discomfort, my panic attack symptoms have disappeared. I don’t know if this means they’re gone forever- I’d guess not- but it is good to know that I can go back to normal.

Also, my landlord’s significant other got a puppy. She’s so adorable and friendly. She came to visit me in my room last night and my life got that much better.

I have two days off before I work July 4th, so I’ll be meeting up with friends and doing some scriptwork for a second reading of my play on the 12th. Now if only this heat would go away…


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