A Foray into Normality

It seems to be my new thing of late to not sleep very much. When I was in college, I made sure that I went to bed before three every morning. I’m a night owl, and my best writing gets done between the hours of 9 p.m. and 4 a.m., so that wasn’t always an easy rule to keep, but I only slipped up a time or two in four years. But now that there’s no school to keep me in check and I’m living on my own, I find myself up at 4 a.m. frequently. Partly it’s that I’ve always hated sleeping- think of all the things I could accomplish if I didn’t have to sleep!- but it’s also that lately, I can’t seem to turn my brain off. I’m typing this entry at 4:30 a.m. and sleep doesn’t seem to be anywhere on the horizon.

Yesterday was the twenty-second birthday of one of my best friends, Stuart. I drove back to my hometown since he was unable to come to me, and we had a really great time seeing local sights and having our Quirky Eating Places plans destroyed.We had planned to dine at places with names such as The Udder Choice, Pancake Farm, and Dosie Dough solely for their names. Sadly, every single one of these places either doesn’t exist anymore or was closed by the time we got there. We did, however, have dinner at a place in Harrisburg called Dockside Willie’s, which might just qualify as a quirky name. And it was at Dockside Willie’s, readers, that I had my very first taste of alcohol.

I know, I know. I’m twenty-two. I just need to drink and get it over with. But to do something you’ve planned not to do, ever (and sort of promised yourself you wouldn’t do, ever) was a big, big deal to me. I expected to cry (you know me.) Surprisingly, I didn’t. Of course, what I did was not what most people would consider actually drinking. Stuart got a hard cider and I had a sip. I didn’t really like it, but after the first sip, I was seized by the triumph of being normal and took a second sip. Then I stopped and drank Dr. Pepper for the rest of the meal.

But guys… I did something that people my age do. This is a huge step. Huge enough that I don’t think I need to do it again for awhile (especially since I don’t care for how it tasted.) But it makes me feel more normal, and that’s what I was going for. I always feel very out of place with people my age, and the not drinking thing doesn’t help. I highly doubt that I’ll be drinking often in the future; while I don’t judge others for doing it, I have a stigma regarding me drinking, and that’s enough to keep me from partaking. I’m still working out how I feel about yesterday’s foray into normality. Results pending.

Meanwhile, I continue to be a crazy person on the mood swings front. The day with Stuart pushed me toward getting out of whatever this mood is, but I’m still working on it. From what I’ve heard, this post-graduate insanity is normal, but it’s still not fun.

Now, as the birds are just beginning to sing, I’m going to try to get some sleep.


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